Rating Microwave Meal Instructions

For those wondering, I'm kind of borrowing the idea for this post from The Book of Ratings, so I encourage you to

head over there and read their stuff (which is both thought provoking and hilarious!). I promise there stuff is a lot funnier then the following:

I've been eating a lot of microwave meals lately and it struck me...when did making a meal become so complicated? Venting, stirring, letting sit, etc. What happened to throwing it in the microwave and hitting a few buttons?

Pizza Silver Discs: I love these things, they’re really mostly grey, but the point of them is to somehow re-direct the microwaves to hit the pizza more efficiently. Shoddy science and messing with the direction in which microwaves travel, brilliant!. Now that’s how I want to cook my meal, with as many microwave rays going in as many directions as possible! A

Rotate Dish: This seems to be left over from days of yore when most microwaves didn’t have the rotating dish in the middle. The directions call for you to cook the meal a certain amount of time, then stop it, manually rotate it, and continue cooking. Seems to me we’re pandering to the people who refuse to get out of the 80’s. D

Stir: As above, this step requires you to cook for a certain amount of time, then stop it, perform the stated action, and then continue cooking. Annoying, but at least it’s not something most modern microwaves do for you already. Most annoying is the fact that the remaining cooking time is 1 minute or less, requiring you to sit around twiddling your thumbs in front of the microwave for that minute, since there’s not much time to do much else. C

Peel Back Cover: Now we come to the section where various products tell you different ways to vent your product. This is the lamest of the three options. Basically, pull the plastic cover back an inch or so and let cook. Yeah. C

Cut Slit in Cover: Slightly cooler is when they ask you to cut a slit in the cover. Of course, they never specify how big of a slit they mean. Some will direct you where to cut the slit (over the vegetables, for instance), but they never tell you whether to cut a huge gash in the cover or whether to cut it only an inch. B

Poke Holes in Cover: My favorite of the venting options. Basically, take a fork or a knife and stab the cover a few times. Great for relieving stress! Again, no specifications are given on how many holes, so I fear I may be venting too much on particularly stressful days. A

Let Sit in Microwave: Again, someone who knows more about the science of microwaves then I determined it’s best to let the meal sit in the microwave before eating, instead of taking it out and exposing it to the air. Again, shoddy science, but without the cool disc sending microwaves bouncing this way and that. C

And there you have it folks, good eating!

August 21, 2004: Justice League Unlimited Review

Second week in a row I haven't watched Teen Titans. I have it on tape though, so eventually...

"Hawk and Dove"

This is one of those reviews where you're still not sure what to make of the episode. I enjoyed it when I watched it, but I enjoy almost all JL episodes. There's a lot wrong with this episode, but it's hard to pinpoint exactly what...

In a nutshell, that crazy Greek God of War, Ares is making trouble. He had Hepheustus design an armored robot, which Ares gives to one side in the Kasnian Civil War. J'onn is aware of the hostilities and has Wonder Woman, busy beating up some punks, gather the brothers Hawk and Dove to head out there and make everyone play nice.

Okay, the good: Voice acting is once again top-notch, with Michael York playing a deliciously evil Ares, Ed Asner a slimy, honry Hephestus, Jason Hervey as the Peacenik Don Hall/Dove, and Fred Savage as the War Hawk Hank Hall/Hawk. I expected the roles of the former "Wonder Years" brothers to be switched, the always annoying Wayne as Hawk and the introspective Kevin as Dove. And yet, after you see this episode, you wonder how they would have pulled that off.

The scene with Hephestus and Diana was great. He mentions he made the armor for Diana's mother and sees that Diana "fills it out" better. He even taunts her with the weakness he puts in all his creators, even her armor.

Lastly, it was nice to see Kasnia again after last season's "Maid of Honor" and a few other mentions of it in both Justice League and the Batman: Myster of the Batwoman movie.

Mixed: J'onn's comments to Diana. First, he refers to humans as if Diana is not a human. Which is perfect and odd at the same time. On one hand Diana is human, but on the other hand, she was created from clay. An odd dichtomy and not as easily distinguishable as Superman being an alien, but posing as a Human. And it is an Amazonian trait to seperate themselves from "Man's World." I think that J'onn said it to goad Diana and make her realize her recent actions were further seperating her from being fully human.

What I'm really mixed about is J'onn's comments about Diana being more aggressive lately. It certainly fits with the comic characterization of her as a Warrior first. However, I do wonder if the writers didn't decide to take this path with Diana to fill in the role vacated by Hawkgirl of the more savage member

Hawk and Dove were mixed too, good characters in a plot that seems custom made for them, coincidentally.

The Bad: First, aside from their fight in the bar (leaving their questionale uses of their powers aside) we really don't get much of an introduction to them. As someone who's heard of Hawk and Dove, but really hasn't seen them in action, I do wonder what exactly their powers are. It seems that they are enhanced speed and strength, but can they rival the Flash and/or Superman? Also a line or two of how they got their powers would have been nice.

As I said earlier, also problamatic was the fact that they seemed too perfect for the job. Hawk's aggression was needed to highlight the problems with the are and Dove was needed to provide the solution at the end.

Also I didn't really like the robot. The fights with it reminded me a lot of the JLA versus Vandal Savage's war machines in "A Savage Time." Also, Ares came off as annoying and not a real threat after all. The resolution was too easy and there isn't much to make me want to watch the episode again.

It's a "C" episode for me. Which is a shame, because I thought the previous 3 episodes were great.

August 20, 2004 Stargate: SG-1 and Atlantis Reviews

Had a bit of a busy weekend and when I had time at the computer yesterday, it was crawling at a snail's pace. Oh well.

Stargate: SG-1

"Affinity"

Another episode, another spotlight on Teal'c. First, the best part of the episode, the teaser. It's a nice day in Colorado when a car goes to park on the side of the street and is rear-ended. Meek Parking Guy is suddenly confronted by Macho Rear-Ender (make all the jokes you see fit here...) and a few of his friends. Things don't look good for Meek Parking Guy. Words are said, accusations of not using a blinker are made, and a beat-down is iminent...

Enter Teal'c, dressed like Superfly and with music blaring in the background. Teal'c tries to defend Meek Parking Guy and move things to the point where they share insurance information and make like good little citizens. Macho Rear-Ender isn't having it and what follows is embarrasing for him and his friends. Teal'c actually manages to stop a punch with the top of his head. And yet, the guys still come after him.

A Government Watch Group of some sort has words with O'Neill about this...seems like this isn't the only incident Tealc's been a part of since he got his new apartment. But Teal'c isn't too concerned, especially because he's eyeing his neighbor and protecting her from her drunk boyfriend. That soon develops into Teal'c showing her Jaffa Martial Arts and her getting close to Teal'c. Of course, she goes back to the drunk boyfriend and he ends up dying...with Teal'c a main suspect.

Meanwhile, Pete, Carter's man from last season wants to transfer to be closer to Sam and even pops the question. Carter is conflicted (and even gives her view on how society forces single women to hurry up and find someone, but not too fast, because he's got to be perfect...) and avoids Pete, but when she realizes he could help clear Teal'c's name, she goes to him for help.

I was surprised by this episode. I really thought there was going to be more going on with Teal'c's latest chick, but they went in a different direction. The second best part of the episode, for me at least, where Carter's chats with Daniel and Teal'c (where her aforementioned diatribe came from) and later with Jack about relationships.

The one with Jack is one of Stargate's more touching scenes. She doesn't know how to handle being a wife and possibly a mother and then going through the gate. It says a lot about Sam how even being married with a child, she can't see herself not being on the SG team. Despite the ruse in "New Order," Sam wouldn't be living on a farm with Pete. She then asks Jack what would have happened if things had been different for him. He replies that he wouldn't be there. And he leaves it at that. While there is debate over what he meant, it seemed clear to me he was referring to what got him into the Stargate program in the first place, his death wish and being the logical choice for a suicide mission.

Stargate seems to be a franchise which is embracing cliches and knowing when to use them as a ruse and when to just go with them. Several plot points seemed cliched, but the episode's end was a surprise for me. Still, once again, it's the characters that make this show worth watching and this episode definately had soe great character moments.

An A episode, definately.

Stargate: Atlantis

"Poisoning the Well"

For the first time in weeks, I actually liked the SG-1 episode better...

Immediately I found it annoying that another alien world not only spoke English, but seemed to favor fashions which seemed to be inspried by both the Civial War era (the Chancellor) and WW II (the Army guys). I'm all for parallel development, but I think there's a limit...

To sum things up, this alien race may have found a weapon to use against the Wraiths...a vaccine which makes humans immune to the Wraith's feeding. So Dr. Beckett is brought onboard to help. The team packs up their Wraith Prisoner (from "Suspicions") and off they go. The prisoner dies from complications after absorbing some of the drug from an alien chosen to be their test subject. But when the test subject dies also, it seems the drug might have a nasty side-effect on humanoids...that side effect being death.

The plot, to be honest bored me. Similarly with Camulus on SG-1, it seemed a good plot device was wasted only a few episodes later, this time with the Wraith prisoner. The aliens seemed to elicit memories of the aliens in SG-1's "The Other Side," namely guys who've had it rough and yet, at the end of the episode, you don't feel so bad for them.

Lastly on the negatives were both Weir and Teyla. It seems the show doesn't have much to do with them. They're there and scenes with them scream that the writers needed to give them something to say and do to justify their paychecks, more than they had some really original ideas for the characters. Teyla is falling quickly from a character I was interested in and thought had great potential to a sideline character. Weir, after her great scene in "Thirty-Eight" Minutes has become a character who's also just there. I think Hammond was much more of a presence and I hope the writers realize this.

There were some good points to this episode...Sheppard was witty as ever, at one point calling Becketts their "Dr. McCoy" due to his fear of Stargate Travel. Later he taunts the Wraith Prisoner and when he wouldn't give a name, Sheppard names him "Steve." Also good was more of Dr. Beckett, probably my third favorite character, behind Sheppard and Ford (McKay is 4th). Speaking of Ford, he had a great scene in the Jumper as he eys the Wraith Prisoner, clearly not happy to be stuck in a Jumper with the creature.

This one gets a "B" from me and part of me thinks I'm being generous.